My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
