If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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