Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
