omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
