no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
