I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize