I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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