Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
