Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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