so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
