Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize