we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
