I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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