tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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