yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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