ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so that wasnt chicken after all
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
