Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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