That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
