Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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