My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize