How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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