i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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