yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
