you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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