I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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