Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cockslap morals
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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