i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
