He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
