I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
