Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
