pop tarts are not kleenex
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
