Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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