no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
