everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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