Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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