I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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