also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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