Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Randomize
