Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
