He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
