im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
