It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
