oh god the rape fog is back!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
