I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
