remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
