I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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