She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
