Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
