Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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