it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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