last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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