is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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