I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
