I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
