Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
