It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
