You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
