I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
