this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
