Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
