We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i drank out of a bidet.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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