Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
