the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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