I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
